twenty-something

i think it's safe to say that my twenties haven't quite turned out how i expected they would. looking back, i can't say exactly what i expected, but i've spent the last few years feeling stuck in one place. unsure of what to do next. frustrated. perhaps i've watched too many lighthearted movies featuring kate hudson in the prime of life, living in a beautiful manhattan apartment that would more than likely rent for about $3000 or more a month, working at a chic job doing something glamorous, dating matthew mcconaughey and spending two full hours looking bouncy and glowy and drinking martinis and wearing manolos. apparently in my younger years i thought that was what being twenty-something felt like. (although i'd gladly date ryan gosling over matthew mcconaughey. or zac efron...thoughts wander...but i digress.)

in all honesty, my twenties aren't that unlike kate's. i have a great family and truly excellent friends. i have a cute house. i spend at least a few evenings a month at happy hour. sometimes i eat brownies for dinner. i work in uptown charlotte. my hair is kind of bouncy. i own a pair of kate spade shoes. i'm actually almost like kate hudson. minus the handsome fellow. and the expensive apartment. and the tan. but despite this truth, i often don't feel like i thought i would in my twenties. i start comparing myself. i dwell on what i don't have. i don't have a husband. i don't have a high-paying job. i don't have a retirement plan or stock options. i don't own a house. i don't have any manolos. i don't have a tan. when i compare myself to where so many others are at this age, i freak out a little bit and wonder what i'm doing with my life. why God hasn't opened more doors for me. if i'm going to let my twenties pass me by without ever enjoying them.

...

i still remember the moment, last august in southern pines. i'd come to visit the lovely lacey and her family in the dead of summer and we did what we do every time we we're together: starbucks. i had just ordered my grande-iced-coffee-with-a-splash-of-soymilk and set my straw tote on one of the leather armchairs. i was wearing this dress and despite the horrible temperatures, feeling kind of fancy. from a few feet away came this voice. "where in the world did you get that dress!?" i responded. we started chatting. within moments, i was having an extremely comfortable conversation with this girl that i'd never met. talking about crafts and blogging and our lives. i was drawn in by her warmth and enthusiasm. we exchanged info. we became virtual friends.

since that time, i've read sarah's blog pretty regularly. she is completely passionate about ministering to twenty-something women. never in my life have i had such a random encounter with a complete stranger that i have been so certain was ordained by the Lord. while we haven't seen one another since, she has ministered to me in more ways than one, and i'm so grateful that i was able to meet her that day. we keep in touch every so often through facebook or twitter, and as of about a month ago, she published a book! a legit book. a sold-at-barnes-and-noble-and-on-amazon-book. i remember her telling me that day we met that she was writing a book (in fact, she was working on it at the time). i remember thinking i'd be interested to read it. and i finally got my copy tonight and am so excited to join the online study that she is hosting on her website. while i don't often get excited about books that can be bought at the christian bookstore (and feel terrible for even admitting that, but it's true), i feel certain that God has selected this book for me during this time and i can't wait to see what i learn through it. sarah is extremely genuine and extremely passionate and i have a tremendous amount of respect for her. if you're a twenty-something girl, you should join us for the study! you can buy the book here and you can sign-up for the online study here. hooray!

i'll be twenty-seven in a month. this makes me want to throw-up and cry and eat a lot of cake all at the same time. i am thankful for people like sarah who remind me that slowly approaching thirty is okay. that i'm right where i'm supposed to be, in the hands of the One who created me.

images 1.zap2it 2.eloranicole